I should have just hit myself in the head with a board and it would have saved time.

One of the most awkward questions we get is when we are out socially and someone asks what we do for a living. I have two choices. One I can get into a half hour lecture about what we do complete with examples, charts graphs and hand outs or I can do what I usually do….answer “consultant”.

I was watching the news this morning and all the bright and cheery droning on about how the world is going to end because of the swine flue or the economy or the latest country to get nukes. I should save time and just wake up and hit myself in the head with a board. I sometimes wonder if they all get together and decide, “How can I make them miserable today?”

Then it hit me. What do we do?

Yes we teach instantaneous rapport methods. Yes we teach how to take feeling and attach them to mental buttons. Yes we teach how to use you voice to become more influential. Yes we teach how to become a human lie detector. Yes we teach what I consider one of the most powerful yet easy self help tools on the planet.

That is not what we do…… We help people.

In this time of dizzying economic news we help people not only get the jobs that are being competed for we help them KEEP the job they have.

When they are lonely we teach them to connect with other people.

When they are lost we teach them how to find their way back.

When they think only luck and hope is left we provide skill.

When it all seems to be slipping away we provide traction.

We help people keep jobs, find relationships, run their brain and add quality to their lives.

Why is this more important than ever now? Because lately it seems that everywhere we turn there is someone trying to scare the shit out of us. The stupid thing is that we keep watching and when we do tat even the dumbest idea can begin to seem real. Every few weeks someone asks me what I think about some subject that it just stupid but somehow became believable.

The world is going to end in 2012

The economy will never recover

Swine flue is going to kill everyone

We are all going to die from..a meteor, super volcano, global warming, pandemic, pollution, war and a dozen other things.

What is really going on? The reason this screws with us so much is because it feeds on and underlying fear. It is the fear that we can’t handle whatever is going to happen next. That we could not adapt. That we cannot thrive even in adverse conditions.

What tends to happen then is that we try to over control everything in order to keep from feeling the fear. Happy is not good enough we want to be constantly excited about life. Being adaptable is not good enough we have to be powerful as well.

Some people would have you focus on only happy thoughts…that is stupid. That just proves you can’t handle sadness. Some would try to convince you that you have special magic skills but that only proves that you are not good enough as a real person. Some would have you meditate yourself into numbness but that only proves that you need to hide from stress.

The most important thing we offer the the skills and attitude that you don’t need any of those things. All you need is to know that you can handle whatever happens next. What happens next is not important. What defines you is how you react to what happens next.

If you look into the future knowing that you can’t control it but you can handle it…how does that change things?

Do you still view persuasion as control?

Do you still try to predict the outcome?

Do you still have to be super human?

Do you still have to deal with fear?

True confidence is the absence of the need to control everything.

The most common problem I hear about is social anxiety. This is a great example of what I am talking about. Lets break it down. They see someone they want to talk to then they start predicting what might happen. Usually the prediction is the 100 ways it can go horribly wrong. Then they imagine all the terrible feeling they will have. At that point they ether run away screaming or they try to overpower the fear. That makes them even more emotionally invested. That sucks the brain dry of any creativity or adaptability. Then with their courage all pumped up they blurt out something stupid.

Just imagine how much easier this would all have been if there was no need to control the outcome. No need to run away. No need to care if it all went horribly wrong.

I know that many of you can’t even imagine that. Let me tell you that when you have a balanced ability to think, create and adapt, it makes all the difference.

If you want more information about how you can do this visit our product page. http://www.essential-skills.com/?page_id=79

See what happens when I turn on the news in the morning!

Have fun

Tom