5 Easy Things You Can Do To Get Rapport and Create Instant Connection

Essential Skills Blog

5 Easy Things You Can Do To Get Rapport and Create Instant Connection

5 Easy Things You Can Do To Get Rapport and Create Instant Connection

5 Easy Things You Can Do To Get Rapport and Create Instant Connection

A few weeks ago we Presented at Kevin Hogan‘s Influence Boot Camp. We me great people and were in the company of some awesome presenters. It was the best Boot Camp presentation experience I we ever had so far. We did a presentation on Anchoring and Triggers. You folks know this is one of my favorite subjects. It is fun, useful and just a little sneaky. 

My other favorite subject is rapport. My opinion is that nothing works unless you get rapport first. I was listening to Tonya Reiman give a presentation on body language. She doe as a great job at pointing out the subconscious signs of what people are really thinking. She also did what most body language ‘experts’ don’t do. She said this all means nothing until you establish a baseline. That alone makes me want to get one of her books. Each person is different and there is no one maps that fits everyone. She also said to always avoid jumping to conclusions before getting a good base line. All good info and she said lots of other good stuff as well 

She also said the when people see someone like them they are more open and can get better rapport. What I really liked is what she did NOT say. She did not say that rapport is about people liking you. Those of you who have been following Kim and I over the years know that we think of rapport differently that some other people. It is not about being liked.

Thinking rapport is about being liked is the biggest mistake most people make. If does not matter if you are in sales, looking for a date, wanting a promotion or even just making friends, Rapport is not about being liked.

So what is it about?

In one sentence here is what rapport is:

Rapport is about being the answer to whatever question is currently on the mind of the person you are interacting with. 

My example is this. If you are drowning what do you need? Do you need another drowning person to bond with OR do you need a life guard?

You need a LIFEGUARD… just in case any of you were stumped by that question 

Do you care if you like the lifeguard?.. NO

Do you care that they connect with you on a deep level?… NO!

Would it matter if they were completely different that you? …. NO!

All you care about if if they can SWIM and if they are willing to SAVE YOU!

That is rapport!

Here are 5 things you can use today to have better rapport with people. When you look at people as you are wandering around today:

1. Find one thing that you like about the people who are the MOST different from you.

2. Ask yourself, what question do they have in their mind right now? 

3. What is one thing that you have in common with them?

4. What message is their appearance trying to send to the world?

5. Where is their focus right now?

When you have this information in changes how you talk to people. Even stopping to considering these 5 things before you talk to someone with completely change how you speak, deliver and approach your message.

This also gets you out of your automatic judgments that are only from your point of view. These often get in your way. I was in a meeting with a group or real estate agents and they were talking about buyers. Almost immediately they all chimed in with the same line… ” Buyers are lairs” . I have heard that same line from hundreds of agents through the years and if that is what you are thinking when you are showing houses then you will never get good rapport with people.

These 5 things are just the first step in learning to change how you approach rapport and connecting with people. 

Want to know more? http://essentialskillsseminars.com/


#selling #dating #influence #sales

Add a Comment