Is manipulation bad?
If you say yes….
What is the difference between manipulation and persuasion?
I met a really nice lady a few weeks ago that said that what we do comes off as manipulation…. and that was bad. A while back one of our coaching members was having trouble with his kids misbehaving and actually throwing things around the house.
There was no reasoning with the kid and this had been going on for a while. We taught him 2 easy strategies and designed a few subconscious trigger to set on him and withing one week we began to behave. He started helping around the house and even stopped throwing tantrums.
A while back Kim’s nephew started browsing around our site. A little while ago when we were visiting he asked us ” Have you ever used that stuff on me?”.
We told him about a time we were at an amusement park and wanted him to get on a Ferris Wheel. He was scared so Kim did something brilliant. She went to a lower position of connection to him and asked him to hold her hand while she was on the ride. He hesitated but then she used his one personal trigger words. For him saying please meant you had to do what he wanted. So she looked at him and said, ” But I said please”.
What happened next was pretty amusing. He grabbed her hand and said, ” Okay aunt Kim come on”.
The best part was that he loved the ride for years after that. Was it his favorite? I don’t think so but he was screaming with laughter on the Ferris Wheel and he got to experience something he might never have gone on.
She could have engaged him in a long debate about how he would have fun and he should give it a try and that is was completely safe and one and on and on. Instead what she did took less than a minute,
This is what a lot of people just don’t understand. Being able to know how to use skills to get the outcome your desire is not JUST for sales people. It is for anyone who wants to make their life better and the lives of the people they care about.
Is that better living through manipulation? Maybe 🙂 Is that bad??? I don’t think so. I think that most people in the world have a deep desire to trust other and connect with them. All you really have to do is open the door between you and them. Then get them to walk through that door and see what you have to offer.
It is never about fooling people… It is about getting someone to accept your invitation to knowing who you are and what you can deliver. Just like opening that door to the Ferris Wheel and getting on the ride. Once that happens having the fun is easy. Making the sale is easy. Getting the job is easy.
You have a choice to make. Do you want to get the life that other people think you deserve or do you want the one you think you deserve. Let me tell you what does not work.
Waiting for your boss to decide you deserve a raise.
Wondering if the person in the job interview likes you or not.
Wanting the customer to realize your product is good.
Wishing that someone would give you a break.
Hoping that the car salesman is going to give you a fair price.
Thinking that one day fate will step in and give you the life you want.
Those things might happen… MIGHT…
Is ‘might’ really good enough for you? Do you really want to leave your life up to chance? Do you honestly want to have your future depend on others getting around to noticing you? Do you think you can live on hope?
If you have to wait, wonder, want, wish, hope, or think that your life is going to magically get better I have some bad news for you. Unless you start steering your life into the direction you want for yourself and those around you then you life will drift….
There is only one question you need to ask yourself…
Could your life be better?
Better job? Better relationships? Better money? Better health? Better performance? Better happiness? Better FUN?
I don’t think in terms of manipulation being good or bad. I view words like persuasion and influence as politically correct feel good terms for what is really going on. Taking charge of your life by opening the doorways that allow people to discover the value that you have. Once those doors are open.. all you have to do is be the person you present yourself as.
If so… Check out http://www.essentialskillsseminars.com/
Get the Skills and Live the Life!