Essential Life Skills of Personal Change and Persuasion

I hear it time after time.

“ Tom, you don’t understand. My problem is different because....”

The truth is that everyone thinks their problem is special. They have had special things happen to them so they have a ‘reason’ for what is going on. That is completely natural. Everyone wants to know WHY they are having a problem. We all have been trained to look into the past to find the cause. Some people waste years looking for WHY.

I had one guy who just refused to believe this. He had to keep telling me about how when he was 4 that his parents died and that he was raised by an evil grandmother. Yes that is tough. Yes that it a terrible way to grow up...if it is true. The problem is that, contrary to conventional wisdom, there is no way to accurately recall your past in enough detail to make such claims. If you are remembering being 4, you are remembering with a 4 year old mind. Imagine all the emotions that a 4 year old has. Imagine how that clouds reality. Imagine the inability to make sense of the world at 4 years old. Now add the clouds of current emotions and beliefs.

My opinion is that you should DOUBT every memory you think you have. The further back in the past the more uncertain you should be. You can’t go into the past. You can’t change the past. The answer is not in the past.

I realize that just this one idea alone invalidates a lot of therapeutic processes.

In the quest to find a reason for you special problem, most techniques scour your past trying to find a cause. The focus is so intense that even if there was not any one event....they will force you to find one.

The truth is that you problem is not special. It is just the same as other people’s problems. All your excuses are bullshit. Once you move past the idea that your problem is ‘special’ then you can do something about it. Your problem is yours. Take responsibility for it and stop whining.

When someone tells me that I don’t understand their ‘special’ problem my response is simple. I DON’T CARE.

Folks...your problem is not special.

So the other day I heard it again..... “ Tom and Kim, you just don’t understand my special problems”. This guy wants to make changes and then toss himself right back into an environment of drug users and negative influences. Time after time he would make changes and then tosses himself back into a shit pile. He refused to change that one aspect of his life so he did not get the results he wanted. He used the 3D Mind and would get great changes...then back into the shit.

It is like driving down a road full of nails and broken glass. The tires keep going flat and you fix them only to CHOOSE to drive down that road again. Then I get a rude call blaming me because his life has not changed. I am a piece of shit because his life did not change. I don’t know anything because his problem is special. If I understood him THEN I would know how to fix him.....right....

As long as you use the excuse that your problem is special you are screwing yourself. It alllows you to keep doing the same stupid things and blaming other people for it.

The question I ask is “ What does thinking that your problem is special allow you to avoid doing?”.

I will put a video of this up for the Gold Members.

Your problems are not special.....they are just yours.

Tom

Www.essential-skills.com

3D Mind August in Atlanta.
July In London.
Stop making excuses and start making progress.