“The one thing I wish you’d cover is WHERE to use the skills in the real
world. I know you and Kim use them everywhere and I want to get there, but
currently I have no context that I would want to apply them on. I know
getting jobs and/or seduction have been good areas to actually apply the
skills, but I need neither of them right now. The question in my mind is
“how exactly am I going to benefit from these skills?”
This is a great question and it deserves a great answer….so I will 🙂
I do think that some people get so focused on the obvious applications of
Rapport and Anchoring like jobs, sales, dating, and getting free stuff that
they miss the everyday applications.
Let me say this…these are life altering skills if you use them. The world
is a different place once you know them.
Anyway, I got your question and for some reason I just couldn’t think of
where I don’t use the skills so I could give an example.
The mistake you are making is that once you have a job or girl that you
think you are done. It is a HUGE mistake. Once you have someone you have to
be able to keep that person happy. That means calibrating to that person,
building rapport, eliciting states and everything else involved.
Once you have a job you have to learn positioning, anchoring your boss,
getting other people to work for you, getting a raise, working with others
and dealing with clients. Getting the job is like gaining access to a
playground. Once in you have to start using the equipment.
Like most things in life…it is the little things that add up.
Here’s one small example. I have been working on the boats, so I have been
going to a boat repair store for a while. One thing I do when I know I am
going to be going back to a place is to set some initial anchors. First I
build rapport. I use an equal position and get an anchor of a good friend. In
almost moments they start talking to me like I am an old friend.
I get advice and get tips that they would tell no one else without even
asking. One day they sold me the wrong part. I have seen this before at this
place and they hate getting returns. When I returned the part, I came in and
they apologized all over the place. I was a good friend at that point. A
week later I went in because I needed a bolt. They went back and searched
for half an hour for the right one and then refused to charge me for it.
Here’s another example of someone who used rapport the day he learned the
skill to better his relationship. We had a student at a seminar who invited
his girlfriend to stay and see the rather controversial guest speaker we had
that night. He thought she would be all right with it, but afterward she
was ready for a fight. Just that day he had learned positions of power and
decided to try something different. He went subordinate to her (something
he never did with her) and to his astonishment defused the situation
completely. That NEVER happened before. Here is his testimonial:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfQXYWOo-hM
You can also use this to make something that is already working well work
even better. We had a student coming to a seminar, and beforehand we met
his girlfriend. She thought all of this was rubbish and would never work on
her. After the seminar he used anchoring during his private relations with
her (without telling her) and she had the best experience ever. At this
point we did ask him not to share any more of the story with us, assuring
him that we got the picture.
These two guys not only used the skills in different situations than you
asked about but used them within days (or within hours) of learning them.
The question you need to ask yourself is why aren’t you seeing these
opportunities.
Kim and I are able to talk to anyone…anywhere and get special treatment
almost everywhere we go. Anchors of appreciation and anchors of generosity
work really great in the smallest of places.
The last example I want to give happened just last night. I was playing pool
with Steve and he decided to try to anchor me to doubt. I figured if you
want to play that way I should teach him a lesson. Steve had spent the
previous night basically whipping my butt at pool. He won 4 out of 5 games
and it was not even close.
Since he wanted to play with the skills I let him. Never bring a knife to a
gun fight! I love pool and poker because I cheat. I mean I follow the rules
but I use the Rapport and Anchoring skills to gain an advantage. The first
thing I did was build rapport using the Magical Rapport stuff. Then I waited.
When he was taking a shot I would wait until he was set and ready. Just
before he took the shot I shifted my state to a combination of doubt and
confusion.
10 games later Steve had only won one game. Believe me ….I was not playing
any better then the night before! Then I told him how to block it. His game
improved but I changed strategies and anchored frustration when it missed a
shot, to chalking my cue stick. Then during one of his shots I stood at the
other end of the table and just started swaying side to side just a little.
He caught me but it was too late. I had him anchored to that. Every time he
shot he felt like he was swaying.
It is just so easy.
When you use these things the result is that your life gets really easy. You
are not fighting for service everywhere you go. People go the extra mile
when doing anything for you.
You become that person that everyone else want to be like. The one that
everyone wants to talk to. The one that everyone trusts.
This is the life you get to lead when you use these skills together. They
become part of who you are and not just a thing you do to get a girlfriend
or get a job. It is like breathing. Sometimes you breathe hard and other
times very softly….but you always breathe. It is part of your life.
This is what the rapport and anchoring boot camp is designed to do. Make
these skills part of your life instead of something you pull out of the
closet when you need something specific.
This Anchoring and Rapport seminar is going to be different than any we have
had before. Sure we will cover the basics but it is going to be focused on
real world application. That means teaching you anchors and elicitations
that fit your lifestyle and personality. We are going to tailor these to fit
you. There is the way I would do something. That does not fit everyone’s
personality or lifestyle. So we have to make adjustments so that it fits
you.
We are also taking a limited amount of people and allowing them to watch the
seminar online. You will need a webcam if you want to fully participate and
interact. Be ready this weekend to sign up for that.
Your benefit from using these skills is up to you. The problem is that you
are not seeing them as a way of life. You see them as tools. So you only use
them when you have to.
Anchoring Rapport Boot Camp…..3 days that will change the way you see the
world!
Great article Tom.
Like a lot of people I thought anchoring and these other skills were for rare and special occasions. I bought your videos back when they were only sold on VHS tape, so I’ve had them for a while, since 2005, I think. I didn’t realize the real world applications.
Then a short time ago you posted the video with Kim called, “Have you ever wondered what it is like to be treated like you are special?” That started me thinking and I decided to experiment.
Every Thursday my best friend and I go out to eat. I have a hiatal hernia that requires I drink a lot when I eat to move the food down. However, I often sat there with an empty glass trying to get a waitresses’ attention to refill my glass so I could continue eating.
Being a middle-aged, balding, overweight guy who isn’t a big tipper didn’t seem to encourage much in the way of service in most restaurants. I often got frustrated and angry as I sat there being ignored. Ironically, yelling at waitresses didn’t seem to encourage them to return frequently to fill my glass.
So, I began using various techniques and strange things began to happen. First in a fast food place the girl was in such rapport that I noticed she kept typing in stuff on the cash register and after several minutes of effort she rang up a price much less than what it should have been – she had entered it as a totally different meal to give us the discount.
Then 2 weeks ago we were in a restaurant we eat at once a month, and our previous waitress saw us across the room and left her side of the restaurant to talk and laugh with us and tell us to make sure we sit on her side in the future.
Then last week we were in Red Lobster and a waitress we had had 3 weeks earlier came by our table, remembered us, and was friendly, even though she was busy. I was surprised she remembered us since this is a busy restaurant on the Interstate.
They love coming to our table – even if it is just to refill our glasses. So, I am happy, they are happy and my glass is always half- full…literally and metaphorically.
This past Saturday my friend and I went to an area with a lot of shops. I would say a few things to the clerk about how nice the weather was outside, they would tell me how they wished they were outside in it and I would turn it around and make them feel good. They then followed me around the store offering to “wheel and deal”, if I wanted to buy anything.
My friend enjoys watching the results of these field trips to practice my skills. I like being treated special because I’m developing special skills that make me memorable to those I encounter. I’m turning into an optimist since these skills are keeping my glass at least half-full and sometimes over-flowing.
Yes it is fun to get treated better than everyone else. Be careful….it is habit forming!