I was talking with a client who runs a fitness center. We were talking about working out and we got on the subject of workout gloves. He just shook his head. He said he does not allow his clients to use them. I asked why since when you get sweaty the bar can slip. His answer was simple.
“If the bar slips it is because you have a weak grip.”
I sat there and thought…. of course it does. This morning I was working out and a guy was using a contraption to wrap his hands and basically tie them to the pull up bar. I looked and sure enough he had small, weak forearms. He was not working on getting strong where he needed it. He was working on building what was already strong.
So many of us do the exact same thing. What is weak stays weak, and we focus on where we are strong because it makes us feel good to be strong.
I was visiting with a guy this weekend. I was pulling my jet ski out of the water and he was sitting on his dock near the boat ramp. So I went over and said hello. I ended up spending 6 hours with the guy hanging out. He is very skilled and talented in many ways. I really like the guy. His view of his life is that he is very happy yet…. he is overweight and had a drink in his hand all day… and it was not the same drink 🙂
His focus was on what he does well so he feels good about himself. We all do this. We try and ignore what we don’t like about ourselves…. we all have done this. When we do, what is weak about us does not get stronger…. we just get better at avoiding it.
My biggest challenge in coaching people is making them slam into the invisible walls that they have built for themselves. They ignore problems for so long that they no longer think they have them. So I have to make what is invisible into what ends up sometimes being painfully visible.
You have to change what you believe about being weak. When a weakness appears, that is a good thing. It gives you a direction to work on. The longer you ignore your weakness the longer you will be weak.
At the London seminar last year a guy asked me what he should work on. I just looked and said, “While you are very approachable and friendly, you keep everyone at a distance and never really let them in.” His friend sitting next to him immediately said that he agreed. He was completely caught off guard. It was something he never thought about. He didn’t see it.
Notice where you are weak. Yes, it is going to sting a bit. That is usually the first change that needs to be made. You need to be able to see what you are failing at and not fall apart.
Your illusion of strength will eventually fail anyway. Truly strong people do not need to always feel strong and invincible. Of course that is a whole other article 🙂
For today just notice where you are weak instead of hiding from it.
As usual… if you like this article, please pass it on 🙂